Today a baby was born
5 pounds, 3 ounces.
Instead of crying after leaving her Mother's womb
the newborn immediately asked the doctor for a blackberry
so she could schedule her nap, breast feeding, and burping.
She then warned her Mother that she wants her bath
no later than one week from today
and will certainly take legal action
if her crib doesn't include a replica solar system that rotates
as she looks up.